Children's
alcohol and drug use is often an issue of concern for parents because the
child's emotional, social and physical development can be negatively affected.
Fortunately,
as the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The
focus here is to illustrate exactly how one can provide that ounce of
prevention for their children.
While no prevention plan
is fail safe, parents can take heart that they are the major influence on
their children, especially in their youngest years. Prevention needs to start
during these years because as they grow older other influences become more
important. Some of these influences are difficult to control, such as friends,
peers, and role models.
While
preschoolers are unable to fully understand the concept of alcohol and drug
use, they learn from their parents' examples and words. Stating "drugs
are bad" to a
preschooler helps ingrain this in their mind. It offers some protection from
the alcohol and drug influence of peers, friends, and role models during
adolescence.
The
most important influence on children's alcohol and drug use is the example set
by parents. If you are a frequent user of alcohol and/or drugs, it is likely
your child will follow your lead. If you decide that you want to be a positive
role model in this area, you should abstain from illicit drugs and limit your
use of alcohol to one or two drinks per occasion, and use alcohol
infrequently. If you do drink on more than one or two occasions per week, it
will become more acceptable for your children to drink on a more frequent
basis as well. Likewise, if you drink to excess it becomes okay for them. In
addition, the use of illegal drugs gives a broader message to your child that
breaking the law is okay. The same can be said for drinking and driving.
Monitoring
and limiting exposure to television programs that glorify alcohol
and drug use is a way to positively influence your child. There has been a
great deal of literature advising parents to screen out the violent content of
TV. programs and it is also useful to screen out TV. and movies that glorify
alcohol and drug use. In addition, screening the types of music your child
listens to will also limit their exposure to role models that glorify the use
of intoxicants.
On the
subject of role models, one fact can not be ignored: exposure to church,
religion and the values they teach, leads to healthy personal development,
minimization of anti-social behavior and abstinence or responsible use of
substances. Studies confirm that children who grow-up with regular church
contact and participation lead psychologically healthier lives. They are much
less likely to use alcohol and drugs, much less likely to divorce, and much
less likely to break the law. They have a better sense the impact of their
behavior on others and are less likely to think and behave selfishly. With
such astounding statistics, it is a wonder why our churches are not packed
week after week with parents trying to instill a greater sense of value in
their children.
One
reason why the church can be so successful at helping us raise our children is
the emphasis they place on personal responsibility and commitment. In the
popular media the emphasis is often on individual rights and permissiveness.
This difference in mission is one important reason we see fewer problems in
children growing up with regular church influence. If they grow up with values
that emphasize respect for themselves and others, they are more likely to
behave responsibly.
In this
context, it is also important that parents positively influence their
children's values. Showing an example of honesty, integrity, and
responsibility is a way of instilling these values. This can be shown through
your actions and interactions with other people and in open conversation and
discussion in a family, setting. Too often parents do not take the time to
talk with their children. I do not advocate sitting down and having long
heart-to- heart discussions or asking your children if they have problems. I
do advocate open discussions on social issues, talking about the positive and
negative consequences of one's actions, and statements of the importance of
honesty, integrity, goals and leading a responsible life.
For
example, in talks about alcohol and drug use, both the pluses and minuses of
use should be discussed. Certainly if you tell children that alcohol and drugs
are all bad this will increase their curiosity. People abuse alcohol
and drugs because they feel better for a short time. In seventeen years of
practice, I have never treated somebody for abusing vitamins or Tylenol. I
have seen a wide variety of other drugs of abuse, including many legal
substances such as cough syrup or mouthwash. The common denominator in all
drugs of abuse is they change the way a person feels. If you are showing an
example of moderate use, you will need to explain why it is you use alcohol,
and what effect it has on you (e.g.; relaxation). Next, discuss with your
children the short and long-term consequences associated with alcohol and drug
abuse. This can range from legal consequences, health risks, and the potential
loss of family, employment and general unhappiness that is always at the end
of alcohol and drug abuse. Finally, encourage them to talk about how they plan
to monitor their use when they get older. This gets them thinking about their
future actions, which will lead to better and more responsible decisions.
Most
drug and alcohol education programs have been found to be ineffective because
informational or scare tactics do not work, particularly with adolescents.
Twenty years ago the theory was that if you educate children on the harmful
effects of alcohol and drugs, they will be more informed, and choose not to
use. Unfortunately, the average adolescent assumes some degree of immortality
so they will not attend to the personal effects of something that could hurt
them. This is why it is important for them to grow-up in a context where
making a decision on how to act is personal, and based on the short and long
term consequences. Important decisions should not be based on how one is
feeling at the time or what “everyone else" is doing.
Although
simple education programs are ineffective, prevention needs to continue in
adolescence. How you treat your teen is important. While it is healthy to give
them increased freedom and responsibility, it is also healthy to check up on
them frequently. I suggest that you wait for them every time they go out with
friends. Be upbeat, but have a brief discussion of who they were with, where
they went and what they did, as soon as they get home. It is also important to
have close contact with them when they get home. A goodnight kiss, hug, or
some form of embrace is a good way to do a "sniff" test. If you
suspect there has been use, confront them at the time. If they become
agitated, it is best to resume the discussion the next morning. It is easy to
tell if they are under the influence. Their words are slurred, their eyes are
cloudy or glassy, they show some difficulty in walking or other motor skills,
and they will generally be slower. We have all had the experience of being
very tired, and then being confronted with something important. Suddenly the
tiredness goes away and we are able to react appropriately. If you confront
your child, and they continue to look like they are under the influence, they
probably are. If you confront them and they suddenly straighten up, it is
quite possible that you are seeing fatigue.
You need
to tell your children before hand what the consequences are going to be if
they use alcohol or drugs. Even more important is that you follow-up with
these consequences every time. If you suspect drug use, contact your
family physician. Most physicians in this area are more than happy to order a
urinalysis to determine whether drugs have been used. Do not under-estimate
the importance of this resource.
Finally,
if you confirm your teen has been using alcohol or drugs, it is important that
you get them in for an evaluation and/or treatment as soon as possible.
Intervention at an early stage is much easier and faster than in later stages.
Once an adolescent is ensnared in the trap of alcohol and drugs,
it becomes increasingly difficult to untangle oneself. The effect is felt by
all members of the family, including parents who are worried and siblings who
learn by example and are often caught in the discord that occurs throughout
the household. This is the primary reason why an ounce of prevention given
throughout the course of a child's developmental years is worth many, many
pounds of cure.
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